Totoo nga bang laging galit si Daddy?

Siguro nung unang panahon, ganito talaga ang mga tatay – think of boomers, the Silent Generation, and Generation x. Ito yung mga panahon na ang mga tatay ay literal na hari sa kanilang mga bahay and involved fatherhood (and the display of emotion that comes with it) is often frowned upon. Bakit nga naman nila aalagaan ang mga anak nila, e nandyan ang nanay para gawin yun. Trabaho ng nanay na mag-alaga ng anak, take care of the household, provide emotional support, do the budgeting, grocery-shopping, and so on – you get the picture.

On the other hand, dads are rulers of the house. Moms and kids are there to serve him. A common scenario that we often see in movies is dad arriving home from work, the kids rushing to greet him, maybe even hand over his favorite drink or a magazine, a son might be bringing him his slippers as he props his feet on a stool, mom serving him food in the dinner table, and so on. You can’t argue with dad, you just have to say yes to whatever he says. Otherwise, be ready for a verbal (and sometimes even physical) beating. In a way, dads of previous generations were viewed as tyrants haha.

Over the years, with the advent of modernity, the image of dads gradually changed. Dahil na rin siguro nagsimula na sila maging mas involved sa family nila, in raising the kids, in being more immersed sa pagbuo at pag-maintain ng household. Naging accepted na rin sa society for dads to show their emotions and, at times, even to display their fragility. Of course, as dads, expected pa rin tayo na maging strong para sa pamilya natin and that’s okay. Ginagawa naman talaga natin yun. We show up kahit pagod, we find ways for our family, we do things kahit may challenges both emotionally and physically, and we raise our children to be good individuals. At the end of the day, we are our family’s fortress; their safe space and their protection.

Pero again, bakit nga ba lagi daw galit si Daddy? Actually, eye opener din ito sa akin dati. Sabi ng bunso ko mas love daw nya si Mommy kesa sakin kasi lagi ko raw sya tinatakot. Inisip ko at tinanong ko ang sarili ko, lagi ko ba talaga sya tinatakot? Hindi rin naman. Naisip ko lang eventually na feeling ko na impatient ako sa kanya at times. Lagi nga naman medyo mataas ang boses ko, lalo na pag makulit at sinasaway ko. Na-realize ko, bata pa sila. Natural na makulit kasi nga curious, hindi pa nila alam kung ano ba ang tama o mali.

And then, on further introspection and in fairness to myself, naisip ko rin na dala na rin siguro ng pagod sa work and other responsibilities kaya hindi mapigilan na umiksi ang pasensya. Darating din yung pagkakataon na maiisip mo yung mga sarili mong pangarap that you had to give up for the sake of your family. Ultimately naman kasi, all of the things that we do are for our family.

Pero syempre, hindi naman excuse yun kaya dapat in touch tayo lagi sa sarili natin. At times, it’s okay to talk to yourself, to remind yourself of your priorities, and also to pause and take a break.

Kasi nga, responsibilidad natin to be at our best pagdating sa family natin. We may lose our temper but it doesn’t give us the right to create a rift with our family or for our relationship with them to suffer. Yung mga anak natin, hindi nila responsibilidad na i-please tayo.

Kaya next time impatience grips you, ask yourself, “Bakit ba galit na naman ako?” It will bring you back to reality and help you in addressing issues.

To answer the question, “Totoo bang laging galit si Daddy?” Pwede haha. Pero again, hindi naman dahil trip lang nya magalit.

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