Ten years, one whole decade. It’s a long or short time, depending on how you look at it. Anyway, Mommy Khris and I recently celebrated our 10th anniversary; not our wedding anniversary but the time when we became a couple. It’s been 10 years but it felt like yesterday. The memories are still vivid, and the carefree days are very much crystal-clear in my memory. I guess time stands still when you are happy and with the person that you love and value.
We loved to travel. We used to always find ways to go out for the weekend – meet a friend over lunch, go on trips to nearby parks, and even organize birthday outings. That goes without saying that we spend our summer weekends going on out-of-town trips.
When we got married, we made it a point to travel to a new location on our wedding anniversary. We wanted it to be our tradition and we stuck to that until the pandemic. Just the same, we are slowly venturing out again into the outside world with our children.
We don’t have a perfect relationship though, but we work hard on it. We have a lot of misunderstandings and we go through many personal challenges but we try our best to resolve our disagreements as quickly as possible. We don’t dwell on issues and we let go of things that are beyond our control. Best of all, we learn to compromise and appreciate each other’s strengths and acknowledge our weaknesses.
Personally, one important characteristic that couples should have is the ability to see things from different perspectives. Sometimes, we get consumed by thoughts that some things should be done this way or that. When we are like that, our judgment gets clouded. We become close-minded. We reject explanations even if they are completely logical and fair.
When we broaden our perspective, it follows that we become even more understanding and receptive to explanations. More than that, a good perspective allows us to seek fairness and to see the good in the situation. We begin to accept that we have shortcomings as individuals and those are perfectly fine. We don’t seek what we don’t have – we make the best of what we have.
Relationships are also two-way – it’s giving and taking. A relationship cannot thrive if it’s one-way (taking and not giving or vice-versa). One of you will eventually burn out if you are in such a setup. A relationship is about listening to each other and learning together as you navigate through life.
Furthermore, it also goes without saying that humility is important in nurturing your relationship. It’s about having the confidence to admit mistakes and accept the fact that you are two unique individuals. You have your own strengths, weaknesses, and abilities. One of you might be more successful than the other but that shouldn’t matter because you are in a partnership. You bring each other up (or pull each other down).
I think those are some of the secrets to building a happy and healthy relationship. If your goal is to nurture your love for each other, then all else will follow. Everything will fall into the right place.
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