Please Don’t Make Me Feel That I’m A Bad Parent

May 12, 2022

It's time that we stop the toxic Filipino practice of judging other parents just because their parenting style is different from ours.

One of the things that make me sad is how I’m sometimes made to feel that I’m a bad parent. Sure, I’m not perfect. I do admit that I have my shortcomings at times and there are also moments that I do feel out of focus when it comes to parenting.

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Please Don’t Make Me Feel That I’m A Bad Parent


At the end of the day though, I know that I give my best and I do try to improve myself. Hey, nobody’s perfect anyway. Nevertheless, I don’t know what it is about (toxic) Filipino culture that always puts the blame on parents when their children are having a meltdown or a surge of emotions.

Why is it that when someone sees a child crying, it’s immediately the parent who gets the brunt for being a selfish parent?

“Why is your child crying; what did you do to him?”

“You’re not taking care of your child well.”

“Why don’t you pay attention to your child?”

“You should already know what your child needs.”

“Why did you do that when you know that your son will already react that way?”

These are just some of the things that we have to endure as parents. But I’m just human, too. I have emotions, I have my own fears, and I get lonely at times when things become too overwhelming for me.

Then again,

I need to rest.

I need to eat.

I need to regain my mental strength.

I need to take care of myself, too.

Not that I’m being defensive, but just to let those people know, I put my child’s welfare first beyond all of my own personal struggles. I feed them when they are hungry, I put them to sleep when they are tired, I try my best to do their activities first even if I’m just an hour away from an important meeting, and I play with them because that’s what makes them happy above anything else.

Taking care of two toddlers is not a walk in the park. They can be demanding and there are moments that just feel like they are manipulating us or the people around us to get what they want. 

I think these are critical moments that need to be addressed immediately lest these become the precedent for their subsequent behavior. In short, those instances call for disciplining and explaining to them that it’s not the proper way to behave.

I know that I could just ignore other people but there are really instances that ignoring them is not an option because they are, say, your relatives or friends. What makes it even worse is that you’re expecting these people to understand you only to be disappointed that they are the ones who judge you first.

In the end, though, we just have to take comfort that we’re not doing anything wrong to our kids and that we are trying our best to be the best parents for them.

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