Things have become a little rough for me lately that's why I decided to write my thoughts down again.
I don’t know how to describe how I’m feeling lately but suffice it to say
that I’ve been feeling a little off in the last few months or even weeks.
It’s Just One Of Those Bad Days
I don’t normally want to talk about myself because I’m not comfortable doing
so. I like to talk about my kids and my family because that gives me joy.
However, there were a lot of events that happened in my life that I felt were
a bit too overwhelming for me.
If you know me, writing gives me therapy. While I do talk about the things
that bother me with my wife, writing about my thoughts ultimately helps me
relax and de-stress.
Anyway, a few months ago I had to resign from my full-time job. I was grateful
to my company because they’ve been nothing but supportive to us since the
COVID-19 pandemic began in 2020. We were given flexible work from home
arrangement as well as profit sharing.
By the middle of 2021 though, the company had to undergo several
reorganizations. They told us that it was to better maximize the manpower
complement of the company. For many of us employees though, we saw that it was
a way to streamline the headcount of the company. Our own division was
affected when some of its functions had to be stripped off and the rest of us
were merged with another department.
After all, most of the people that we knew who were affected by the internal
movement had no other choice but to tender their resignation. We thought that
it would just be a matter of time for us.
That time came for me and my colleague by the third quarter of 2021. HR had a
quick dialogue with us and told us that the organization had no more
requirement for our expertise and that we were needed somewhere else.
In the end, we were transferred to another work location in a job that was far
beyond our core skills. I was willing to give it a try and was quite excited
with it. My only issue is that, because of the change in location, my
transportation expenses have skyrocketed. I would be spending half of my
salary on transportation alone and that’s too impractical for me.
That’s when I decided that it’s time to bid my job goodbye and just focus on
my freelance job. It was really the more practical choice because I was
earning from blogging and writing, brand collaborations, and social media
marketing.
My freelance job sustained me until the end of the year. Still, another blow
came when Facebook deactivated my personal account and Instagram account
because of an apparent violation of community standards.
I don’t recall posting anything on my personal account although I saw an email
from Facebook saying that there was a dispute from a music label about a sound
clip I used. I was thinking it was the last video clip that I posted on my
page but didn’t have the opportunity to verify that because Facebook had
already suspended my personal account.
My Instagram account was also affected because it was connected to my
Facebook. I sent appeals in hopes of recovering my accounts in time to get
projects at the start of the year.
However, it was more challenging than I expected and it was taking longer than
I hoped it to be. I made a new account but that also meant that I have to
start all over again to begin securing projects.
This blog is all that it’s earning and I hope nothing untoward happens to it,
too. The best option, as always, is to get a full-time job but it’s also a
challenge because of the pandemic. I just hope that I still get to recover my
old accounts to bridge my income in the meantime.
I didn’t really have any dreams of being called an influencer. I’m far from
being one but I do love writing and communicating. I’m thankful because that
passion has given me so many opportunities.
On the personal front, I’ve also been struggling with a lot of turmoil. It’s
been affecting me and would often leave me short-tempered and even pessimistic
at times.
I can’t go into more details about it but just to hint: there are some things
that you initially thought could mend you but eventually leave you even more
broken.
It brought back a lot of old demons that I had to fight all over again. It
also had me questioning a lot of the old truths that I believed in. At this
age, I thought I’ve already heard all the hurtful words that I needed to hear
but that is not so. It’s tiring and I hope I get over those things soon.
I believe in the old saying that when it rains, it pours. That couldn’t be
truer for me right now. I pray a lot but I’m praying even harder these days. I
also tell myself that it’s just one of those bad days; it’s still a good life
in the end.
Do you ever feel that there are instances when things become too much? What do
you do?
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I'm so sorry. I hate when a bunch of bad stuff happens at once. My FB has been flagged a few times for music as well. It's frustrating.
ReplyDeleteMy spring has been similar to the "when it rains, it pours". I dealt with two unexpected deaths in the family and its been difficult to turn myself around. Writing also helps me as a therapy method.
ReplyDeleteDuring those times, try not to stress or overthink. Once you have one negative thought. It's really hard to think positive.
ReplyDeleteA job switch is always tough. It sounds like you made the best choice.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds really rough and I'm sorry to hear that you and your family have been going through such an ordeal, and it's frustrating that the incident with FB seems so unforgiving over an issue that could've been easily fixed if they had allowed you the time to do so. I see that the blog was put up at the start of the year, so I'm hoping that things have since looked up even a little. I'll be sure to keep you and your family in our prayers. I hope things start to look up.
ReplyDeleteJust keep on thinking positive and think about your family. At the end of the day everything will be okay.
ReplyDeleteIt is really hard to change careers or job but I know you did the right decision! Just keep thinking positive and don’t lose hope!
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through all of that! I can relate to "when it rains, it pours" because I've been going through some hard times lately too. We just need to remember that it will all pass! <3
ReplyDeleteI hate when it pours. I hope things are looking up for you again.
ReplyDeleteEveryone go through dark times in their lives once in a while. I hope that the sun will rise soon for you!
ReplyDeleteNo one is spared from dark, challenging times but surely they are meant to make us strong.
ReplyDeleteI experienced my life's worst phase in 2019-2020. A time when I lost my confidence, positive energy, hope, almost everything. By the grace of God and universe, I passed that phase and so you'll! I am sure about it :) Just don't overthink and stay away from all negative things (thoughts & peeps). Trust me, everything will be all right!
ReplyDeleteEverything Enchanting :)
I'm sorry that you are dealing with this. I know the economy is making a ton of people suffer.Jobs, money, rising cost of living, and everything else is hard. I'm struggling a little bit but things will get better.
ReplyDelete