It’s Just One Of Those Bad Days

January 21, 2022

Things have become a little rough for me lately that's why I decided to write my thoughts down again.

I don’t know how to describe how I’m feeling lately but suffice it to say that I’ve been feeling a little off in the last few months or even weeks.

Light on a bad day

It’s Just One Of Those Bad Days

I don’t normally want to talk about myself because I’m not comfortable doing so. I like to talk about my kids and my family because that gives me joy. However, there were a lot of events that happened in my life that I felt were a bit too overwhelming for me.

If you know me, writing gives me therapy. While I do talk about the things that bother me with my wife, writing about my thoughts ultimately helps me relax and de-stress.

Anyway, a few months ago I had to resign from my full-time job. I was grateful to my company because they’ve been nothing but supportive to us since the COVID-19 pandemic began in 2020. We were given flexible work from home arrangement as well as profit sharing.

By the middle of 2021 though, the company had to undergo several reorganizations. They told us that it was to better maximize the manpower complement of the company. For many of us employees though, we saw that it was a way to streamline the headcount of the company. Our own division was affected when some of its functions had to be stripped off and the rest of us were merged with another department.

After all, most of the people that we knew who were affected by the internal movement had no other choice but to tender their resignation. We thought that it would just be a matter of time for us.

That time came for me and my colleague by the third quarter of 2021. HR had a quick dialogue with us and told us that the organization had no more requirement for our expertise and that we were needed somewhere else.

In the end, we were transferred to another work location in a job that was far beyond our core skills. I was willing to give it a try and was quite excited with it. My only issue is that, because of the change in location, my transportation expenses have skyrocketed. I would be spending half of my salary on transportation alone and that’s too impractical for me.

That’s when I decided that it’s time to bid my job goodbye and just focus on my freelance job. It was really the more practical choice because I was earning from blogging and writing, brand collaborations, and social media marketing.

My freelance job sustained me until the end of the year. Still, another blow came when Facebook deactivated my personal account and Instagram account because of an apparent violation of community standards.

I don’t recall posting anything on my personal account although I saw an email from Facebook saying that there was a dispute from a music label about a sound clip I used. I was thinking it was the last video clip that I posted on my page but didn’t have the opportunity to verify that because Facebook had already suspended my personal account.

My Instagram account was also affected because it was connected to my Facebook. I sent appeals in hopes of recovering my accounts in time to get projects at the start of the year.

However, it was more challenging than I expected and it was taking longer than I hoped it to be. I made a new account but that also meant that I have to start all over again to begin securing projects.

This blog is all that it’s earning and I hope nothing untoward happens to it, too. The best option, as always, is to get a full-time job but it’s also a challenge because of the pandemic. I just hope that I still get to recover my old accounts to bridge my income in the meantime.

I didn’t really have any dreams of being called an influencer. I’m far from being one but I do love writing and communicating. I’m thankful because that passion has given me so many opportunities.

On the personal front, I’ve also been struggling with a lot of turmoil. It’s been affecting me and would often leave me short-tempered and even pessimistic at times.

I can’t go into more details about it but just to hint: there are some things that you initially thought could mend you but eventually leave you even more broken.

It brought back a lot of old demons that I had to fight all over again. It also had me questioning a lot of the old truths that I believed in. At this age, I thought I’ve already heard all the hurtful words that I needed to hear but that is not so. It’s tiring and I hope I get over those things soon.

I believe in the old saying that when it rains, it pours. That couldn’t be truer for me right now. I pray a lot but I’m praying even harder these days. I also tell myself that it’s just one of those bad days; it’s still a good life in the end.

Do you ever feel that there are instances when things become too much? What do you do?

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